Spring Has Sprung: Show People You Are Aware Even if You Don't Feel Like It
Ahh, spring. The season of renewal, a time of excitement, icicles melting, and the horror of realizing your children's week-long break from school is just around the corner. For those of us who experience seasonal affective disorder, or who have unbelievably terrible allergies, spring can be a time when you look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Well, I guess we HAAAAVE to leave the house or people will start to realize I'm crazy rather than just suspecting it." Much of this out loud monologue will be accompanied by air quotes—if this is the case, you definitely need an outdoor DIY project to refuel your inner child and jump start your ability to... care about things again.
You'll want to start small: enormous undertakings that sound good when you wake up at 3 a.m. like painting an urban-style mural on the entire side of your house or ordering a tent on Amazon from bed on your smartphone and filling it with cat food—HOA be damned—are not good places to start. So, in alignment with the ideals of starting small and working your way up to full blown New Yankee Workshop status, YOUHANGIT brings you the pastel umbrella you can fill with fresh cut flowers.
To begin, find a super cute pastel umbrella. If it has been used before, find the neatest, most organized person you know to bundle it back up perfectly so it looks brand new. Or, go spend $15 and plan to literally never open this umbrella under any circumstances.
Once you have found the umbrella that screams, "SPRING IS HERE AND WE LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!" go buy fresh cut flowers of the spring-screaming variety—tulips, pansies, lilacs, hyacinths, and irises all work well, and all of these can usually be found at any nursery or garden center at your local hardware store. You'll want to plant them in your garden or in planters with room to grow so they stay alive longer—this way you'll have a backup crop when it's time to change out any wilting blooms in your umbrella.
To hang the umbrella on your front door, simply adhere a YOUHANGIT to the back center of the umbrella's handle, remove the red safety thingy, and smoosh the umbrella into your front door. Once you have accomplished this first step, you'll simply use a small hammer to gently tap in one of our Sexy Metal Hooks—the 10-pound hook should work just fine—because you're just putting in the freshly cut flowers, not 20 pounds of soil or anything like that. And don't let that last sentence get your winter-frosted wheels turning: filling an umbrella with potting soil is a terrible idea, especially because it is a pastel umbrella and people will be able to see the soil through it, nevermind the fact that watering the flowers will just make the umbrella a stained and hideous mess, perhaps not unlike the way your seasonal affective disorder has made you feel.
Now that you have your Sexy Metal Hook in place, you're going to hang a second hook off of it, one that can accommodate the width of the umbrella's handle while also holding it up against the door rather than holding it in an awkward position that looks like it's being smashed against the door or something. The piece of hardware you're looking for is called a twisted S-hook. You can find this at the hardware store too—get it at the same time you get the flowers or you'll be in a bad mood again, which will surely trigger you to remember your children's impending spring break.
Once you've filled your umbrella with your pretty spring flowers, hang it on the twisted S-hook on your front door. Beautiful! And now no one can slam the front door without ruining your hard work, so you should see a sharp decline in adult and child temper tantrums too.